Why do I do this?

If any of you are reading ELIZABETH TUDOR and don’t want to have a notion of certain developments later in the story ruined, cease construing pronto!!

This process of writing is very exposing and brutal and I have no idea why I keep doing it.

So, because of who I am and what I stand for in my personal life, this is a hard post for me to put out there. (Mostly because I’m embarrassed.) Nevertheless, what I am going to say needs to be said.

Here I go. The last 20 pages of my story are, what some would deem highly sexual. Once this comment got out there in the open I didn’t understand it. I wondered if people felt that way just because they knew I’D written it and hadn’t expected embarrassingly risqué scenes out of me, or if they were just really sensitive to mildly evocative situations the way I am to movies with that stuff in them, or I wondered if I’d just poured so much emotion into the writing that it was overwhelming

(this is my super ego convinced I’m the most amazing writer on the planet, because of course, I hadn’t used provocative language, there were no heaving bosoms or soft warm wet…places, or anatomically correct nouns).  

OR did I have it all wrong and there was some other reason people were using this description for my story. Just to be clear, no one actually has sex. So what was the problem?

Then it happened.

I read the pages in question out loud to my husband (who has not read my book).

Bring on the flushed cheeks, the embarrassed swirl in my stomach and the need to hide under a rock.

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This is my ‘for serious’ face. To quote my kids.

I most definitely made people feel things with those scenes. I had not meant to. But boy had I ever.

(Side note, never once was I uncomfortable reading them to myself while writing or editing.) (A bit of a TMI glimpse into my mind here.)

So, blushing, I apologized to all my friends who’d purchased this book from me and polluted themselves with my yuck. I tried to justify why Elizabeth acts in such a way. I explained all the things she learns from the circumstance and how I only explained actual historic situations, to no avail. I did not feel better. In the end I added that none of my other books have anything remotely like this in them.

(Then I sulked away… No just kidding all my friends are incredible supportive. I am so blessed. Without the love they showed me I would have sulked.)

And here comes my point…

For those of you who are not holding me to the same standards as my friends, I feel the need to explain that I am not a trashy, sex, writer. I am not even interested in erotica. If you are turned on by the risqué scenes in Elizabeth you can expect that there might be more in book 2 just because the version of Elizabeth I’ve written is very sexualized, I guess, but none of my other work is AS sexualized.

(I’m working on a story that is kind of like a mix between TIGER’S CURSE and THE MORTAL INSTRUMENTS but with Persian gods instead of angels, it’s called BLOOD OF THE GODS you can check out some of it on wattpad. Links are on my blog, but anyhow the heroine Julia Jane grew up in a very sexualize home, as I did, and she does like to kiss boys A LOT, kinda like I did. ☺ )

So to restate, I want all to feel safe reading my stories. (Except ELIZABETH, I guess) I will try very hard not to pollute you henceforth.

(and if you like to be pollute, feel free to pick up ELIZABETH TUDOR: Ancestry of Sorcery. I hear it has some of the best almost-sex you will ever read! 😉 )

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